Financial Support for the Big Day- Who Has a Say? ~ Wedding Question Wednesday

Question: My mom doesn't agree with me on anything, the dress, the venue, the menu, not even the colors! They've threatened to pull their financial support if I don't cave in, but it's my wedding, they already had theirs! What should I do?!


Answer:
From a Mom:
My answer only reflects being the Mom. First off it seems like tempers have flared and there is a standoff going on. They need to sit down as a family and talk. I would like to tell the bride how since the day my daughter was born I realized someday she would marry. Marriage is a great day of celebration for the bride and the groom,but it also is a celebration of her parents giving her away.

I told my daughters that when planning the wedding they didn't have to accept all my suggestions, but they had to respect my requests. We talked about how much we were willing to spend, how many people would attend and what we felt comfortable doing. Our daughters shared their requests and from there we had developed a plan.

I hope the parents realize that they are taking the happiest day of all their lives and clouding it, but I hope also that the bride sits down and listens to what they have to say. It is not all about the BRIDES day, but a true celebration of uniting two families. I told my girls "remember the smile on your face when you got engaged and after the wedding is over and you are leaving the reception, I want to see that same smile". Then I know we have succeeded.

From a Dad:
There has to be some sort of understanding of what a budget means. Nobody wants to feel taken advantage of. So if you want something that takes the wedding way over budget, you need to consider cutting somewhere else, doing without, or paying for it yourself. Respect the people "gifting" you your wedding, and be appreciative of ANY amount that is given. Many parents didn't have any money to offer. If yours do, you're a LUCKY GIRL!!! (from a dad, with no fashion input, just financial)

From the "K" of KDC:
Comprise is key. Maybe bend on the colors if they let you pick venue ... the guy writes the check writes the rules sometimes. Lol!! That is what my dad told me. =)

I hope these different perspectives help! Let us know.
*hugs*
Denice

Photo Credit: Kano Photography (Katie's wedding)

Do It! Register for a 1/2 Marathon!

I never thought I would ever be able to complete a 5K. I never thought I would be able to complete a 10K. Hey let's face it, I never thought I would be able to complete a mile run/walk. BUT I DID! I did those and so much more. I complete not one, but TWO half marathons!! Yes, they were a year apart, but I still did it!

My sister was very instrumental in getting me to commit to my first 1/2 Marathon. She encouraged me and coached me. She helped me see that if I believed in myself, I could do anything. I have taken this lesson with me through MANY things these past two years. When I felt deflated and like I would not be able to make it, I remembered what I felt like at mile 8...and I powered through!

So, how did I decide to do this...twice? Well, here are my reasons:
1) It is the BEST feeling to cross that finish line
2) It encourages me to workout
3) It helps keep me on track...sometimes
4) It gives my sister and I an exclusive club and interest
5) BRAGGING rights!!

Many of you might be saying...I can't run, or I don't run. Well, neither do I.  I walk/jog. Yup. It took me 3:27.58 to complete my first race and 3:21.33. Hey, year 2 was a little faster =) The fact is I DID IT and I FINISHED! I am not a rock star like some and finish in 1:59 (my sister) or 2:21 (my cousin) but I finished all the same!

So, if you are interested in doing something like this, DO IT! Active is a great web site with great training tips, and listings for local events. REGISTER for one, and just do it!

REMINDER: Some times the registration fee can be a deterrent, don't let it be!  You usually gets tons of great items (shirts, bags, food, etc.) AND most are affiliated with charities and if you raise a certain amount, you might be able to get your race fee refunded...I did! =)

Here are some great events:
Aflac Iron Girl Series- events all over the country

Surf City- links up to the California Dreaming Series

Disneyland 1/2 Marathon and other events- also has family events

Warrior Dash- 3 mile mud run  & activities

GOOD LUCK! Let me know of your adventures!

*hugs*
Denice
Photo Credit: Me, my Mom and my FIL

Glenda's Glitzy Designs

Ladies, If you know a Bride to Be, or anyone in the Wedding Party Glenda is now making a lot of Bridal items. Some of the new items; a short sleeve Hoodie, perfect for the Bride or Bridal party to wear while getting their hair done the day of the wedding. It can have their name on it or just Bride, Maid or Honor, Bridesmaid, Flower Girl or any other word.

Glenda also specializes in Flip Flops, for all sizes.  I am TOTALLY addicted to these blinged out flip flops.  I love them. I have a grey Roxy pair from last year. The crystals have stayed put since then.  I get SOOO many compliments on them, I love em'!

Here are a few other things Glenda does:

Check her out. If you are local, she will even host a Flip Flop or Shirt party for you!  Glenda will pretty much bling out anything you want, need or can dream of! She's a super nice lady, and her super fab hubby helps her create these fabulous creations. Now GO... Check her out and get BLINGED out!!!!

Glenda on Facebook

Glenda's web site

*hugs*
Denice

Photo Credit: Glenda's Glitzy Designs

I'm A Mother-in-Law! What's My Role? ~ Wedding Question Wednesday

Today's question comes from Emily, author of Scribbles from Emily

Question: As a mother-in-law, how involved can I be in the wedding planning without overstepping my bounds?

Answer: I believe a Mother-in-law and a Mother can be very involved in the planning of a wedding. It's a good idea to all sit down BEFORE the planning begins and see what everyone's expectations are. Once this is done, you will know where everyone stands. You then can start setting YOUR expectation. The main thing to remember is that everyone has feelings and everyone has been planning and waiting for this moment.

One tip I always follow is to never say NO, and never shut someone down.  The way to handle it with tact is to say something like, "That is a great idea, we will keep it and see how everything comes together, thank you." OR "that is a lovely color, I am just not sure how it will look with everyone's tone and hair color". See you are taking their suggestion into consideration, and not putting them on the defense!

Try to head off confrontations by:

1. Not putting people on the defensive
2. Keeping everyone in on the plans- don't leave out important details, dates and times- keep everyone informed
3. Try incorporating some of the traditions from each side of the family
4. If you give in a little you can take a little =)

Here are some great blog post on the Bride and Mother of the Bride by Holly Lefevre.  I HIGHLY recommend reading them!! Also check out our post on last minute to do lists!

*hugs*
Denice

Photo Credit: Kano Photography

1/2 Marathon #2 COMPLETED!

Yup- WE, yes all three of us, and a few others, completed our second 1/2 Marathon! I am crazy, I know.  Why would someone do that you say? Well, It is such a gratifying experience.  The sense of accomplishment is AMAZING.  I literally start crying at mile 13 and don't stop till after I cross the finish line and collect all my goodies (bananas, water, apple...you know, stuff to put in my body so I don't pass out!). 
Now, I am not crying because of pain, I am crying because I made it.  Me, Denice, a 34 year old, over weight mom of 2...I DID IT! That's why I am crying.

 (The Crew Before the Race)

 (That's me between the arrows)

I AM:

• Amazed that I trained for this
• Amazed that I had the mental power to keep going  after mile 8
• Amazed that I have completed something many people never dream of doing
• Amazed that I did not pass out (or barf)
• Amazed that I did not injure myself
• Amazed that I have the strength to carry myself 13.1 miles

(my Sister and I)

Yup...I did it! You can too!

(After completing 13.1 MILES)

*hugs*
Denice
Photo Credit: Me!

Stylish Blogger...Us?

We received the Stylish Blogger Award from not one, but TWO fabulous bloggers. Our first one came from Stephanie over at Thoughts From Cali.  Not only is Stephanie a real life friend, she's a fabulous blogging buddy!  We highly recommend you go on over and check here out.  Our second award cam from Crystal Lynn over at Super Single Mom and Her Side Kids.

THANKS Steph and Crystal Lynn!!!

The rules of this award are to link to and thank the blogger that gave it to you.  Then you list 7 things that you don't know about me, then pass it on to 15 new blogs that you have discovered. However I am  gonna only choose my top 5.

1) I have been best friends with Katie and Cindy since we were born...That's a loooooooong time =)

2) I have completed 2 half marathons...even after the age of 30!
3) I have never been to the "tourist" areas of LA or Beverly HIlls

4) I have my BA in Criminal Justice

5) I don't like to eat chicken off the bone....GROSS

6) I would LOVE to be a labor and delivery nurse

7) I swear I have OCD...but I know I really don't, I just like things a certain way =)

So now I am passing this along to my top 5 blogs, except Steph is one, and so is Leeann, over at Join the Gossip (but Steph already gave it to her!! So here are my others:

1) Jill over at Strawberry Freckles

2) Karen at Strictly Simple Style

3) Charity at Surviving a Two Year Old

4) Maggie over at *Moonstruck

5) Tina over at (Florida) Girl with a new Life

Enjoy checking out these other fabulous blogs, tell them I sent ya =)

*hugs*
Denice

Maid of Honor Duties ~ Wedding Question Wednesday

Today our question comes from Tina over at (Florida) Girl With A New Life

 

Question: I just got picked to be Maid of Honor. So what are my most important duties?

 

Answer: Tina this is a GREAT question! There are so many opinions on what the Maid of Honors actual duties are. I believe the number 1 duty is to be there for the bride. There will be times through all the planning that there is no one for her to turn to to complain, nag or boss around, and she will turn to you, her #1 gal pal.  Remember to not to take things personally.  Brides put themselves under so much (unnecessary) stress. Be there to help guide her, keep her organize, and most of all help keep her grounded. 

Here is a more accurate list of Modern Day Duties of the Maid (or Matron) of Honor:

Pre-Wedding:

• Plan/help plan the shower, and, if the bride wants one, a bachelorette party. If the bride has an involved mom and/or sister, coordinate with them on dates
• Dress shopping!! Go with the bride to look for her gown, and help shop for the bridesmaids’ dresses
• Be sure all brides maids have scheduled dress fittings, and are all aware of required attire (this includes hair and make up)
•  Be in attendance for all prewedding parties (if you are local to the bride and groom)
• Help arrange hotels if needed for the bridal party
• Let others in the bridal party know where and when pre wedding events are (rehearsal)
• Help address invitations if necessary
• Lend a hand in scouting venues, caters etc. if asked
• Help keep the Mother of the Bride informed as to what current happenings are (this is if the bride is forgetful)
• Help dress the bride
• Be sure to have a bridal day emergency kit on hand
• Help with last minute wedding to do lists

During the Wedding:

• Arrange the bride's train and veil before the ceremony begins and if necessary while at the altar, hold flowers if necessary, and help bustle the brides gown before the reception
• Keeper of the groom's ring during the ceremony (I usually place it on my thumb)
• Carry tissue in case it is needed
• Be an extra set of eyes to be sure all is set up to the brides specifications
• Be sure all attendants receive their flowers

 Reception:

• Sign the marriage license with the best man
• Play hostess (as well as with the other bridesmaids) at the reception by helping seat guests, usher where gifts can be placed, and where they can sign the guest book.
• Toast the new couple
• Help the parents of the couple get the gifts home from the ceremony
• Be sure the cards to the couple are kept safe
• Keep the guest line moving, and collect the money if they are having a money dance

To learn more about wedding etiquette, Check out this great little book by Holly Lefevre, "The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book: From invites to thank you notes - All you need to handle even the stickiest situations with ease" you can visit Holly at her web site.

 

Here are some other sites to check out:

http://www.bridesmaid101.com/maid_of_honor_duties.html
http://www.themaidofhonorguide.com/
RealSimple Check list

*hugs*
Denice
Photo credit: Me & Holly Lefevre