Feb 23, 2011

Financial Support for the Big Day- Who Has a Say? ~ Wedding Question Wednesday

Question: My mom doesn't agree with me on anything, the dress, the venue, the menu, not even the colors! They've threatened to pull their financial support if I don't cave in, but it's my wedding, they already had theirs! What should I do?!

From a Mom:
My answer only reflects being the Mom. First off it seems like tempers have flared and there is a standoff going on. They need to sit down as a family and talk. I would like to tell the bride how since the day my daughter was born I realized someday she would marry. Marriage is a great day of celebration for the bride and the groom,but it also is a celebration of her parents giving her away.

I told my daughters that when planning the wedding they didn't have to accept all my suggestions, but they had to respect my requests. We talked about how much we were willing to spend, how many people would attend and what we felt comfortable doing. Our daughters shared their requests and from there we had developed a plan.

I hope the parents realize that they are taking the happiest day of all their lives and clouding it, but I hope also that the bride sits down and listens to what they have to say. It is not all about the BRIDES day, but a true celebration of uniting two families. I told my girls "remember the smile on your face when you got engaged and after the wedding is over and you are leaving the reception, I want to see that same smile". Then I know we have succeeded.

From a Dad:
There has to be some sort of understanding of what a budget means. Nobody wants to feel taken advantage of. So if you want something that takes the wedding way over budget, you need to consider cutting somewhere else, doing without, or paying for it yourself. Respect the people "gifting" you your wedding, and be appreciative of ANY amount that is given. Many parents didn't have any money to offer. If yours do, you're a LUCKY GIRL!!! (from a dad, with no fashion input, just financial)

From the "K" of KDC:
Comprise is key. Maybe bend on the colors if they let you pick venue ... the guy writes the check writes the rules sometimes. Lol!! That is what my dad told me. =)

I hope these different perspectives help! Let us know.

Photo Credit: Kano Photography (Katie's wedding)


Devonay said...

What a thoughtful post. It is refreshing to see this answered by several different view points. The monster bride reality shows come to mind... I often wonder why these women feel that it is acceptable to act in such a manner. My wedding was some time ago, but the whole affair from bridal shower to reception was a group effort with input from all involved. I believe that's the way it should be. :)

Reverse Address Lookup said...

Explain to your mother what you really want and if they're still disagree it's time for you to weigh everything, If they pull out they're financial support and It will not affect your wedding that much go on, go with your idea co'z it's your wedding you might regret if you didn't follow what you want it's once in a lifetime darling.

KDC Events said...

Devonay- I can't stand MONSTER brides!! That is one reason I shy away from weddings. They are difficult =)

Jill said...

this question is heartbreaking!!

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